Impossible
by xoxocaroline
Summary: My first fanfic, inspired by the song by Shonelle, Impossible. Please read, and I hope you like it. Tiva story : There are spoilers, from throughout the seasons.


Heyy! So this is my first fanficion story, and of course it is a Tiva story :) I got inspired by the song: Impossible, By Shontelle. so here is what i made of it :) If you can, could you please review, mabye just for this story, since it is my first, and just tell me what you thought of it :) thankyouuss :) Lovee Carolinee xoxo

Disclaimer: I don't own either the song, or NCIS =P.

**Impossible**

_I remember years ago _

_Someone told me I should take _

_Caution when it comes to love _

_I did, I did_

My mother always taught me not to be naive. She told me that as I grew older, and met people, I may start to develop feelings with the people who were close to me. And I needed to be careful when I fell in love, because if they break your heart, it is almost impossible to mend. I always took caution, until I met him.

_And you were strong and I was not _

_My illusion, my mistake _

_I was careless, I forgot _

_I did_

In those months that I was taken hostage, I was weak. I had always tried to be strong, not show my emotions, so no one would hurt me. Abby once told me that I was an emotionless person, and it hurt. She did apologize, but she never knew why I never showed my feelings. He was the one who saved me, who was willing to die just to get revenge for me. I told Gibbs that I didn't trust him, months before Somalia happened. I forgot all of what we've done for each other over the years. I forgot.

_And now when all is done _

_There is nothing to say _

_You have gone and so effortlessly _

_You have won _

_You can go ahead tell them _

I had nothing to say to him after our fight in Israel, but after he saved me, I had lots to say, just to him. When we appeared through the elevator, he had left my side, like it was just an ordinary day in the office. I could read him, I knew he was happy that he killed Saleem, that he got revenge for me, and he saved me after thinking I was dead, but all I was thinking about, was what he said, "I couldn't live without you, I guess." I still don't know if he meant it.

_Tell them all I know now _

_Shout it from the roof tops _

_Write it on the sky line _

_All we had is gone now_

I confronted him in the men's bathroom, just days later after he rescued me, I told him what I now knew. I told him that I trusted him. I told him that he had always had my back and never should have judged him. I know that, in that moment of contentment we had alone together, we both broke Gibbs' rules by apologizing, but we didn't care. I needed to tell him how sorry I was for accusing him of killing Michael because he was jealous. We both know that what we had in the past, would be gone, Things would never be the same.

_Tell them I was happy _

_And my heart is broken _

_All my scars are open _

_Tell them what I hoped would be _

_Impossible, impossible _

_Impossible, impossible_

I am happy now; I am free from my father and I am now making a home for myself. My heart is in mend, but I know that it will never truly be better until I tell the one I love, my soulmate, that I need him in my life to survive. My scars are fading slowly, but as each scar fades, I become happier and content. When I'm around Tony, he makes me feel like I'm the most important person in the world to him, his exuberant personality never fails to bring a smile to my face. But as much as I want to tell him how I feel towards him, I know that it will be impossible for him to ever feel the same way about me. It's like a one in a million chance of him feeling the same way.

_Falling out of love is hard _

_Falling for betrayal is worst _

_Broken trust and broken hearts _

_I know, I know_

I believe I loved Roy, but I knew that we could never be because he was the dead man walking, and he had a predetermined end to his life but those few days I had with him, I loved because he made me feel special, he didn't ignore me, like Tony did when he was dating Jeanne. But falling for Michael, was probably the most stupidest thing I've ever done. He betrayed me. But I've learnt from my mistakes, and I now know. I know.

_Thinking all you need is there _

_Building faith on love and words _

_Empty promises will wear _

_I know, I know _

All I have on my mind is him. We've been through so much together, comforted each other when times were tough, it's like we can read each other's minds perfectly, and when we know that something is wrong we would just be there for them. He is my best friend, and I love him. He made me a promise to be there to see me become an official American citizen, but he wasn't. I know why and as much as it hurt to not have him right next to me, holding my hand, as I made the next big milestone in my life, I know that because I love him, I'll forgive him. I know.

_Tell them I was happy _

_And my heart is broken _

_All my scars are open _

_Tell them what I hoped would be _

_Impossible, impossible _

_Impossible, impossible _

_Impossible, impossible _

_Impossible, impossible_

I've always wondered how someone can consume so much of your thoughts in your head. I was wrong when I told him that nothing is inevitable. Everything happens for a reason, and I know that it is impossible for somethings to be avoid. Perhaps it was impossible for me not to develop feeling towards the man who I work with everyday, the man who only sits a few feet away from me and is only a phone call away from being a t my side. The man who has grown so much over the years when I've been with him. The juvenile, caring, handsome, loving and energetic man who I call my partner. My little hairy butt. My Tony.

_I remember years ago _

_Someone told me I should take _

_Caution when it comes to love _

_I did.._

My mother always taught me not to be naive. She told me that as I grew older, and met people, I may start to develop feelings with the people who were close to me. And I needed to be careful when I fell in love, because if they break your heart, it is almost impossible to mend. I always took caution, until I met him.

I know that falling for him is not a mistake. And someday... Someday I will tell him that I love him...

It was impossible not to fall in love with him. From the moment we met each other, we knew. We knew that we would share a special connection which no one would be able to describe, not even ourselves. It was inevitably impossible.


End file.
